Another Way to Say Not to Do It Again

49 Ways To Say No To Anyone (When Y'all Don't Desire To Be A Jerk)

Posted July 28, 2016, past Zahra Campbell-Avenell

In life, you accept to say no a whole lotta times.

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• Want to subscribe to the Career FAQs newsletter? (Actually, you really should say yep to that 1 – information technology's crawly.)

I know it'due south non easy. In fact, sometimes it can exist so tough to say no that you cease up giving in and but saying yes. It's homo nature – we want to be agreeable, we want to exist liked, and nosotros want to be kind.

Then how do you say no, no, no all the time without being (or feeling similar) a jerk? Hither'south the curt version: merely don't be a jerk. You have every right to say no without feeling guilty, and as long every bit you lot don't do it in a nasty way, you're not a jerk. Evidently and simple. Here'southward a groovy tip:

Stop saying yep when you desire to say no.

And if you're non saying no to most things, lemme tell ya: yous're not doing yourself any favours. In a earth where everything is finite, you lot should be prioritising like crazy. Saying yeah to everything is the fastest way to burn down out. But I'm not here to tell you why you need to say no (that's for another article) – I'll presume you're here because y'all want to know how to say it. And that's a whole other story. The good news is that there are many ways to say no (word on the street is that there are at least 49). Then without further ado, let'due south get into information technology:

one. Utilise the discussion.

Non, 'Not at this time', not 'I don't think and so', not 'I'm not sure', non 'Maybe next time'. The give-and-take NO is a powerful affair. Use it if yous are absolutely, unequivocally sure that there is no other answer. And don't apologise for saying it. If need be, practice saying the word until information technology loses its ability over you.

2. Or a firm (but polite) alternative.

• I capeesh your time, but no cheers.
• Thanks for thinking of me, but I have too much on my plate right now.
• No thanks!
• Not today, cheers.
• Not for me, thanks.
• I'm afraid I can't.
• I'm not actually into [heavy metal/decoupage/Pokemon Become], but thank you for asking!
• I'd rather non, cheers.
• I retrieve I'll pass.

3. Don't Costanza it.

This goes for family, friends, or even your boss. Y'all don't have to have an elaborately fabricated ruse – but say you don't want to. If you don't want to become to an event considering you lot've had a rough calendar week and you'd rather sit in bed watching Netflix – then say so. Don't invent an ailing grandmother because you think it makes your excuse more than palatable.

iv. Don't get on and on.

In some cases, information technology's all-time not to elaborate. If you lot justify your 'no' too much, it can seem like you lot're lying – or worse still, it tin can let the asker to find a workaround to try and make you lot say aye.

5. Don't be afraid to say it twice.

Sometimes people don't respect boundaries, or are used to people caving if they ask again. Just because someone is persistent, doesn't mean you lot have to requite in. Smile politely, and say no a second time, simply more firmly than the kickoff.

six. If demand be, use 'considering'.

Research has shown that using the word 'because' makes people concur with you (even if the reason you lot give them is absolute rubbish). And so instead of just saying, 'Unfortunately I won't be able to assist you plan our squad edifice event', effort adding a reason (all the same picayune) to help your refusal go downward more than easily.

vii. Only smiling and milkshake your caput.

Y'all can do this equally y'all walk away, too. This works especially well for people giving out flyers or trying to guilt y'all into signing upwards for something.

8. Be believing.

Information technology helps to imagine that y'all are the person in control of the situation (mind over affair – information technology's a powerful thang.) Brand eye contact and speak clearly. Don't mumble your no, mmmkay? This is extremely helpful if you feel that you lot are existence taken reward of.

ix. Don't take freebies.

We're hardwired to want to reciprocate when someone gives us something. So if y'all have that cheese sample at the supermarket and the overnice lady starts convincing yous to buy information technology, you're far more likely to say yeah than if you hadn't accepted the sample in the first place.

10. If all your friends were jumping off a cliff, would you?

Information technology's easy to fall into the trap of saying yes because other people are saying yes. Don't exercise it.

11. Remind yourself of the opportunity cost.

What will you lose by giving in? Time? Money? Health? Nothing comes for free.

12. Read up on the tricks used by con artists.

It makes y'all realise how easily even the smartest amongst us tin get fooled into saying aye. Don't be conned.

13. Trust your gut.

Your intuition volition seldom pb you lot astray. If it doesn't 'experience' correct, mind to your instincts – and say no.

14. Provide an alternative.

This can be particularly useful in a piece of work setting, when you don't desire to be seen as the person who says no all the fourth dimension. If you lot're also busy to take on a task that yous might want to do in the future, yous can say something along the lines of, 'I won't exist able to assist you with the Field account this time around, but I'm happy to take a expect next month when my schedule is less hectic'.

15. Pass that cadet.

If yous desire to say no to something that you know someone else might desire to say yeah to, experience free to laissez passer on that information. 'I'g agape that I won't have fourth dimension to contribute to the bake sale this year, only I know Amanda loves baking – maybe you could inquire her?' is a skilful instance. Resist the temptation to employ this as an alibi to throw people you don't like under the omnibus, or you will (rightly) exist perceived every bit a jerk.

16. Negotiate.

If yous're willing to meet halfway, this is the time to negotiate. It'll allow yous to arrange the request without saying an outright no. This tin can include reducing the size of the chore, asking for a longer deadline or sharing the load with another person.

17. Don't filibuster.

In that location's no bespeak in making someone await for an answer if you know that your respond volition exist no. Procrastination is a terrible thing – don't say 'I'll think about it' if you won't.

18. Go ahead and change your mind.

Just because you said yes once doesn't mean that you're stuck maxim yes until the end of time.

nineteen. Say it often.

The more you practice, the less terrifying it volition become. Showtime saying no to anything that doesn't add value to your life.

20. What a shame.

While proverb 'Sorry, I can't' will certainly soften your bulletin and make it more polite, it will also dilute it. Here'due south another way to say the same thing 'Information technology's a shame – I'd dear to help just I'grand already committed to [X thing]. Best of luck!'

21. The affliction to please.

Oft nosotros'll say yep to things that really aren't a priority considering y'all don't desire people to remember you're a wiggle. Estimate what? Some people will think you lot're a jerk anyhow, no matter how nice you actually are. And so end worrying nearly what people recollect, and only say no already.

22. Crystal ball it.

When you get skillful at maxim no, you can probably get-go pre-emptively saying no to asks before they come up. Retrieve that your aunt is going to invite you lot to her Tupperware party? Tell her that you're broke.

23. Avoid serial askers.

If you know someone who is e'er request for favours, without doing much for you in return, try to avoid them, particularly at times when you know they will be in an asking mood.

24. A white lie never hurt anyone.

Normally I'm a huge advocate of the truth, just in some cases, you might need to get a little creative with your no. For case, if you know that your grandmother is going to try and push her Anzac biscuits on y'all when yous visit, feel complimentary to tell her that the doctor has told y'all to avoid saccharide for a while if yous don't desire to hurt her feelings. If your grandmother's a tough cookie (pardon the pun) feel gratis to use #2.

25. Non at present.

You should simply do this one if y'all know for sure that you'll actually consider something later (otherwise, see #17). Let's say that yous'd love to help walk your neighbour's canis familiaris once a calendar week, just not the week earlier y'all're leaving for a two-month trip to Guatemala. Simple – ask your neighbour to check with you again when yous're back. And when yous're at work, unless it'due south urgent, don't drop everything to attend to the newest task on your list – merely say, 'Sure thing, I'll get onto that as soon as I'm finished with this project.'

High five, y'all're halfway there! Here are 24 more than ways to say no:

26. Information technology'due south non you, it's me.

Feel free to employ this archetype rejection line if you feel that the production/thought/person/occasion is right for someone, but that someone isn't you. It'due south perfectly acceptable to say that something isn't the right fit for you.

27. It's not me, it's y'all.

Turn the above precept on its head, and don't be agape to tell people when it'south a hard no, aka 'Perchance…when pigs fly'. So if you're a vegetarian, don't allow your great-aunt make yous try 'just a picayune bite' of her beefiness goulash – tell her, 'No thanks, Aunt Maggie – yous know I'1000 a vegetarian and so I will never try information technology.' Feel costless to describe a line in the sand where yous need to. Another example is, 'As a rule, I don't donate coin to political parties'. If you lot stick to your guns, people will learn to respect your boundaries.

28. Empathize.

Sometimes validation is all the other person needs. Saying something like, 'I know that sucks – but I tin't, I'thousand lamentable.'

29. You don't always take to be dainty.

Need permission to say no merely because you don't desire to? Permission granted.

thirty. Air your discomfort.

If a friend asks to borrow money, feel costless to say something similar 'I'k not comfy with lending money to people, sorry.'

31. I wish I could.

In some cases, yous might have to exist a little softer in your approach. Imagine the nicest parking inspector in the world. Even though you tell her that you're simply a few minutes late, what's she gonna say? Probably something along the lines of 'I wish I could, merely I've already written the ticket'. Prefer a similar arroyo. Here's another example: 'I wish I could assist with your project, but I'chiliad swamped this week'.

32. Thanks just no thanks.

Sometimes this is literally all you'll accept to say. Or you can add #31 to the mix if you lot want to soften the blow. This is what to say if you desire to say that you're grateful to be asked, but x isn't your thing.

33. Employ body language.

Shaking your head, raising your eyebrows – even rolling your eyes can piece of work in the right setting. Regardless, apply powerful body linguistic communication to show that yous hateful business, even as you decline something graciously.

34. Buy some fourth dimension.

I would go out this every bit a very last resort, because you do run the risk of being barraged later. Y'all're simply postponing the inevitable, simply if information technology helps, you can say 'Let me recall virtually it' or 'I'll bank check my calendar…let me get back to you.'

35. I'g flattered, just no thanks.

Sometimes you might need to acknowledge that it'south a big deal that a person asked you to do something. This could be useful if someone asks yous to model for them, or offers you a promotion that you don't want.

36. I really shouldn't…

Save this for the times when you want to say yes, simply really call up you should say no (perchance to be polite). And so when your colleague (whose boyfriend happens to exist a pastry chef) offers you some of her birthday block, use this. It'south like magic…say it and the other person is probable to say, 'Oh, continue! Just have it!'

37. Hell no.

This needs to be used sparingly, and probably only with friends. And so if you lot sleep with a Hello Kitty night light on, and a friend-of-a-friend is invites you to a screening of The Horror Iii, saying 'Oh heeeeeell no! I'll never sleep again!' is a safe bet.

38. I said no.

This works for children and pesky, charming salespeople. Again, the key is to exist friendly only firm.

39. It'due south not the best.

This is a gentle style of maxim no, and tin exist really useful when someone asks you something akin to 'Does this shade of neon orangish adjust me?' Instead of being a jerk and using a edgeless #37, attempt saying 'It'due south not the best colour on you – let's expect at this navy blazer instead!'

twoscore. Ummm, no (possibly accompanied with a laugh).

So this is the only ane that can (kind of) brand you audio similar a wiggle, so employ it wisely. I would relieve this for moments when someone asks y'all to work for free, or insults you in another way.

41. I know this isn't the answer yous were hoping for.

Acknowledging some other person'south feelings is important, simply certainly makes this a 'no' on the softer end of the spectrum. So if someone is expecting you to practice something simply yous aren't going to do it, say no, followed by the above gem.

42. Last time was cracking.

Sometimes you're gonna take to say no when yous've said yes before – and this can be tricky. The best way to become effectually this (fifty-fifty if yous need to harness the ability of #24) is to assert that while you lot might accept enjoyed it the concluding time, you may not this time around. 'While I loved the opportunity to present to the CEO, you know that public speaking isn't really my forte, and so I won't do it this quarter.'

43. Let me know if yous want me to reshuffle priorities.

If your boss hands you yet another projection that yous don't take time for, and won't accept no for an answer, ask what you tin let get of. 'That sounds really interesting, and I'd be happy to do information technology – but that means I won't be able to submit the written report past Friday. So let me know what you want me to prioritise.'

44. I'thou good/I'm happy/I'grand all set.

This is good for cold callers – 'Cheers but I'm adept with my current mobile plan. Please remove me from your call list. Cheers!' is good plenty.

45. How lovely of you.

If your well-meaning sis-in-law wants to throw you a 30th birthday party, but yous'd rather just have a casual lunch with your friends and family, appreciate the gesture while refusing it. 'Janet, that'southward so lovely of you! Just I've already planned to have a beach twenty-four hour period and a picnic – I'll be sending out invites next calendar week.'

46. Reduce your availability.

Depending on what you do for a living (east.k. if yous're a doctor/plumber/lawyer/mechanic/accountant), any of these can be useful: don't put your mobile telephone number on your business concern card. Don't give out your number to anyone except close friends and family unit. Encourage people to text you rather than leaving you voicemail messages. Reduce the number of Facebook 'friends' y'all have.

47. Unfortunately.

This is good for a business organization setting. Had a request to recommend an intern who you retrieve should however work at Baker'south Delight instead of a law business firm? I've got your dorsum: 'Hey Ellen, thanks for thinking of me! Unfortunately I don't recall I'm the all-time person to write your recommendation because I haven't spent enough time seeing you write briefs, which seems like an integral part of this role. Good luck in your task search!'

48. It'south not possible.

Possible and impossible are magical words. If you say, 'That's but not possible' with confidence, yous probably won't need to say anything else.

49. It's an honour.

If someone asks you to do something major – I'1000 talking virtually something alike to condign their child's godparent or 'proverb a few words' at their nuptials – just saying no will make you sound like an accented jerk, and so you take to tread lightly. Here's a good exit strategy: 'Charlotte, that's such an honour, and I feel privileged to take been asked. Nonetheless, because [insert non-negotiable reason hither, e.g. I'm so terrified of public speaking; I've been known to faint], I wouldn't be able to give this important task/role the time and attempt it deserves, and I don't want to let you down. Would you lot consider request Fatima instead?

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Source: https://www.careerfaqs.com.au/news/news-and-views/how-to-say-no-to-anyone

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